In Dialogue with Darkness
Overcome by what has been lost, we can no longer retrieve what was once cherished in its original form
Act 1
Me: What happened? I don’t see you anymore. Where are you? All my life, you filled me with your wisdom, your vitality, your direction. I heeded your guidance, and I wish to heed it still. I need it, and you left. Where are you? I don’t know what to do without you here. Why did you leave? I followed you. I listened to you. I obeyed you. I was a loyal servant. Where have you gone?
Light: Come, seek me still. Look harder, open your heart, and you will find me again. I’m faint, but I’m here, waiting. Look and feel deeper. Please. You need me still and you must keep looking. You can’t stop looking.
Me: Something’s broken. I can’t find you anymore. I don’t see you anymore. I can’t feel you anymore. I don’t know how to move in your absence. I don’t know where to look for you. You were always here, and I don’t want to look for you. I just want you to come back. It hurts too much without you. And if I find you, will it ever be as it was before? Can you promise that? Please, please, just come back. Just come back as though you never left me.
Act 2
Darkness: Hello, I’m here now.
Me: No, please, go away. I don’t want you here. It’s not you that I want or seek. I never beckoned you. You don’t belong here. You never belonged here. You confuse me.
Darkness: Not until you look me in the eyes and tell me to go. Face me and then you can retrieve what you once had.
Me: Please, go away. I haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t deserve to lose what I cherished.
Darkness: Ha! I’m everywhere and everyone. The stronger you are, the stronger I become. Overcome me, and you will know your true strengths and purpose.
Me: Please, just go away and tell me what you’ve done with her. She was my beauty, hope, and promise. I don’t know who I am with you here. I’m lost I want her back. I can see her. Why does she seem so far away?
Darkness: I won’t leave lest you try. I come and go. It will take time, effort, and courage to go. Do you think you can do it?
Act 3
Me: To be rid of you, I fear I will lose much more and I’ve already lost so much: love, precious bonds, trust, hope. How much more can I bear to lose? It’s too much. It’s too painful. It’s not fair. I never said you could do this.
Darkness: That is how I work. You will not have many other choices, I’m afraid, and some things were never meant to be mended. Overcome me, and you will learn to be again.
Me: But what I had was good. It was safe. It was real. Why can’t I keep it? Why can’t it stay? Why must I surrender it? This is injustice. You are everything I abhor about life and humanity.
Darkness: This is what I do. What is your place in it? What is your purpose? What will you serve?
Me: I don’t know anymore. Perhaps I never knew. I feel weak and confused. Pain and fear are all I know now. I am betrayed. I am wounded. I am without hope without you.
